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Thứ Ba, 19 tháng 12, 2017

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.

The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"

The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."

The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"

The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.

When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"

The woman replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them.

Working at home sucks...

....if you’re a firefighter.

Faith vs Science

I’m not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I’ve seen what it can do to skyscrapers.

Green chameleon for sale...

No, a red one.

No, blue.

No wait, a pink one.

Cool.

Never mind, I'm keeping it!

A husband and wife were golfing

when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"

The husband said, "No sweetie."

The woman said, "I'm sure you would."

So the man said, "Okay, I would"

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"

And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."

Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"

And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."

A guy walks into a bar in West Virginia and orders a white wine.

All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up from their beer and whiskey,expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north. The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?" The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada." " Canada " The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?" The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in the hell is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?" "No," says the Canadian "I don't drive a taxi, I mount animals." The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."