A joke my Grandpa told me the other day...

A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically, all in the name of humor!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, “You stay out of this! ………I’m talking to that little bastard on your lap!”

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Women Used to Burn to Death in Their Dresses Kind of All the Time

Women Used to Burn to Death in Their Dresses Kind of All the Time
No matter what they wear, women get burned for it. But in the mid-19th century, this was extremely literal.

December 19, 2017 at 10:06PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2kKkf5k

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Jobs that don't exist anymore;

1. Steve

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Have you met the guy with 5 dicks?

His underwear fits like a glove.

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The teacher walks into the class…

As she walks in is written on the board “Johnny has a huge penis”, she erase the board, and proceed class.

In the next day as she walk in, is written again in the board, “Johnny has a huge penis”, she them looks at the class and asks who wrote that, but no one answers. She then erase and start class.

Next day same thing, “Johnny has a huge penis” written on the board, she them goes mad, looks at Johnny and yells “I will speak with you after class young man!”

In the next day as she enter the class, written even bigger in the board is “Marketing is the key of success!”

Edit: fuck up a word.

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In a hotel room at night, two neighbors do not let a third one fall asleep...

At night in a hotel room, two neighbors do not let a third one fall asleep: they tell various political jokes. He tries to scare them:

"The KGB is listening to everything here!"

Those two just laugh and continue. Then he goes out and asks the room attendant to bring to the room three cups of coffee exactly five minutes later.

He returns, leans to the ashtray and says:

"Comrade Major! Three cups of coffee to our room, please!”

The attendant brings coffee. Stunned neighbors go to bed.

In the morning the joker wakes up alone. He asks the attendant where his neighbors are. She replies:

"At night, the KGB swooped in and took them!”

“And they did not take me? Why?”

“Comrade Major said he liked your ashtray joke.”

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A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man says back, "That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?”

The guy says, "No. They're all at the funeral."

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