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Thứ Hai, 25 tháng 12, 2017

An old man and his wife are in bed.

After lying silently for a few minutes, the old man farts and says, “Seven points.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the heck are you talking about?”

The old man answers, “I’m playing fart football!”

A few minutes later the wife farts and says, “Touchdown! Tie score.”

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, “Touchdown! I’m winning 14 to 7!”

Furious about losing, the wife rips another fart and yells out, “The score is tied!”

The pressure is on and the old man refuses to lose. He strains incredibly hard, but instead of farting he accidentally poops the bed. The wife hears the noise and asks, “What in the world was that noise?”

The old man replies, “That’s the whistle for halftime. Switch sides.”

What do a grenade and a woman have in common?

You remove the ring and your whole house is gone

Please becareful on the roads

Lots of people are drinking excessively and having their wives drive

My girlfriend is always yelling at me because I get my directions mixed up.

So I packed my bags and right left away!

I was banging this nice lady……….

I was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking back, I really should have ran, but you don't get offers like that every day.

‘The Russia Story’


‘The Russia Story’
How the year's biggest story was encountered in 2017 by rabid Democrats, recalcitrant Republicans, and everyone else on the internet.

December 25, 2017 at 12:06AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2BsRvVL

Called my wife on her cell to warn her about this crazy driver on the news who’s speeding down the highway in the wrong direction.

She replied: “I know! There’s like hundreds of them!”