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Thứ Sáu, 29 tháng 12, 2017

A job at the Post Office

A guy goes to the post office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Have you ever served in the military?"

"Yes" he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you five extra points towards employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You are a disabled veteran; you've got enough points for me to hire you right now."

"Our normal hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 AM, plan on starting at 10:00 AM every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 AM?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls."

"No point in you coming in for that."

I only believe in 12.5% of the bible...

Which makes me an eighth theist...

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?"

God said,

"I think I'm going to call it a day."

A priest has a heart attack and is rushed to hospital

When he wakes up, he is being raced through the corridors on a gurney. Disoriented, he asks, "am I in heaven?"

"No, replies the nurse. "We're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward."

Slutty girls are like Wal-Marts

Everyone makes fun of them but when you're inside one at 4am, you think "Thank God these are here"

World's Wealthiest Became $1 Trillion Richer in 2017


World's Wealthiest Became $1 Trillion Richer in 2017
The richest people on earth became $1 trillion richer in 2017, more than four times last year’s gain, as stock markets shrugged off economic, social and political divisions to reach record highs.

December 28, 2017 at 09:42PM
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