She looked at me and said, "In five years time you will have 3 children."
"But I already have 4 children!" I laughed.
She said, "I know, leukemia is a bastard."
Thứ Bảy, 6 tháng 1, 2018
A blonde, a nun, a brit and a french guy in the train...
Four people are sitting in the passenger car of a train. A hot blonde, a nun, a brit and a french guy. The train goes into a tunnel, there's total darkness for a brief moment, and all you can hear is a loud slap. As the train is leaving the tunnel, sunlight lights the scene up, and a confused french is holding his burning red cheek and looking around. The nun is thinking to herself "This scumbag probably tried to touch the blonde and she slapped him." The blonde is thinking "That scumbag was probably trying to touch me, touched the nun by accident and she slapped him." The french guy is thinking "I bet the brit was trying to touch one of them, they thought it was me and slapped me!" The brit is thinking "Next tunnel, I'm gonna slap him even harder."
Bob left work Jokes ;)
Bob left work one Friday evening. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Thứ Sáu, 5 tháng 1, 2018
A radio station in Ireland is taking calls to find a word that is commonly used but isn't in the dictionary yet...
The first caller get's through,
"Hello! What word do you think should be in the dictionary?"
"Goan!"
"Goan? Can you use it in a sentence?"
"Yeah, go'an fuck yerself!" The caller then begins laughing until the station can cut off his call.
After several more calls they get another man,
"And what's your word sir?"
"Smee!"
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"Aye! S'mee again! Go'an fuck yerself!"
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