A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50. The couple asked for another appointment and returned once a week for several weeks. They would have intercourse, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $93 and the Hilton Inn charges $108. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare."

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I was teased about my penis size almost every day of elementary school.

I got called names like teeny weenie, micro dong, and pickled pecker.

If it weren’t for that, being home-schooled wouldn’t have been so bad.

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three young priests-to-be are tested

the elder priest says:

"if you are to be priests, you must learn to resist the allure of women. you must tie bells to each of your penises to betray your arousal. strip down."

so the young budding priests strip down and tie bells to their penises.

then the elder priest brings in a hot blonde with big boobs, a nice ass, etc.

so, facing the three young naked priests with bells on them, she goes over to the first one and strip teases him. within 5 seconds: "ding a ling!"

"you still need work." says the elder. "but for now, go take a shower"

the first priest in training leaves, and then the blonde strip teases, and kisses the second apprentice.

after 15 seconds of this, he finds this too much.

"ding a ling!"

"Bill, you are better, but still need work. go take a shower with joe."

so he leaves, and then the woman is left with the last priest.

she works her magic, kissing and licking and trying to give him a boner, but nothing she does works.

the elder priest says: "good job Bob, you have surpassed your peers. go take a shower with joe and bill"

"ding a ling!"

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What do you do with a compressed porn folder?

sigh unzip

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I bought a dog from a blacksmith this morning...

...within 10 minutes of getting him home he made a bolt for the door.

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The Real Future of Work

The Real Future of Work
Forget automation. The workplace is already cracking up in profound ways, and Washington is sorely behind on dealing with it.

January 6, 2018 at 12:03AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2CuZGRL

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So a blonde goes to a lying competition

The goal of the competition is to tell the most convincing, outrageous lie. The blonde thinks for days and days over what lie she is going to tell but she is never able to come up with a good one.

On the day of the competition, she walks up on stage, still lacking a good lie. She reaches for the microphone, grasping for any idea, and stares at the crowd. "hmm, let me think about this", she mutters to herself.

The crowd breaks into cheers and applause, confetti falls from the sky, and the Judge walks up to her, and gives her the first place award.

( i think this is original, it works better the way my father said it in hindi, but it I hope yall like it)

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