The girl's husband was getting a bit tubby round the middle, so she decided to tempt him to do something about it.
"Honey," she said, "if you lose 20 lbs, I'll do a sexy striptease for you."
Cruelly, he replied, "And if you lose 20 lbs, I'll watch."
Thứ Ba, 9 tháng 1, 2018
Thứ Hai, 8 tháng 1, 2018
A young woman, let's call her Emma...
... Loses her arms in a tragic bear accident. After healing, she decides to go get a job. The local church decides to find her some work she can do even without arms. She is hired as the new organ player.
Needless to say, her first day as an organ player goes poorly. She quits in shame.
The church decides to hire Emma for another job. She will drive the bus to and from the kids' camps.
But Emma, sans arms, cannot do this job either! She quits in shame.
Finally, there is another job opening at the church, and Emma determines that she will find a way to do this job, whatever it takes! The job is as the bell ringer.
When 1:00 comes around, Emma attempts to ring the bell to no avail. Exasperated, she runs - face first - into the bell, and it let's out a satisfying bong.
2:00. bong, bong.
3:00 and 4:00 come, and Emma continues to ring the bell. By now she's developed quite a headache. But the day goes on.
5 and 6 and 7 and 8 come and go. Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong.
The headache is nearly debilitating. Slamming her face into the bell nine, ten, and eleven times, Emma calls out in pain.
12:00. Nothing.
With no bell ringing, the parishioners become confused. They move up into the tower to investigate, and see Emma lying bloodied, armless, and unconscious on the floor.
"Who is that?" says one parishioner to another. "I don't know", replied the second, "But her face sure rings a bell".
What is communism?
- Let me explain.. If you had 2 yachts and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course.
- Well, that's communism. Another example, if you had 2 homes and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course I would.
- See, its easy. If you had 2 coats for example and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- No!
- No? Why not?
- Because I do have 2 coats
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