Saw a guy walking with a naked woman on his back. "You OK?" I asked.

"Sure. I'm headed to a fancy dress as a tortoise."

"And her?"

"Oh, that's Michelle."

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What's the difference between an art major and a philosophy major?

The philosophy major will ask you WHY you want fries with that.

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People say gambling ruins lives, but it brought our family closer.

We now live in a one bedroom unit.

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Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force?

They wouldn't know who to shoot

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Daddy long legs

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat...
'Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden' she said.

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Inside One of America’s Last Pencil Factories

Inside One of America’s Last Pencil Factories
A photographer captures a colorful world of craft and complexity.

January 12, 2018 at 11:45PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2Dop39a

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Daughter: Mom, I have a new boyfriend, our neighbor Joe. Mom: But he could be your father!

Daughter: Age is not that important to me.

Mom: That’s not what I was talking about.

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