An American man is drinking in a pub in Ireland...

He stands up and says "If anyone here can drink 10 pints of guiness in 10 minutes I'll give him 100 dollars!"

No one answers him and one man walks out of the pub.

The American goes back to his drink and someone taps him on the shoulder 15 minutes later. It was the Irish man who had walked out earlier. "Does your bet still stand?" He asks.

The American says yes and gets him his pints. The Irishman then drinks all 10 in 10 minutes.

The American gives him his money, he says "That was amazing! But why did you leave earlier?"

The Irish man says "I went to the pub across the road to make sure I could do it first!"

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw a light bulb?

None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed off when it doesnt screw

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My wife says if this post gets over 1000 upvotes, I can get anal.

Please upvote because I want this house to be spotless.

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My son is so ungrateful

I Bought him a trampoline for his birthday and all he did was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

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My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool.

I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.

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Did Ancient Greeks Sail to Canada?

Did Ancient Greeks Sail to Canada?
Researchers think Plutarch's "De Facie" tells the tale of Greek sailors making the treacherous transatlantic crossing. They dug into the science to show how it could have happened.

February 2, 2018 at 01:07AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2E7qknZ

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[NSFW]: A woman walks into a bar ...

A woman walks into a bar and appears to be depressed. Alone, she begins drinking heavily. A man walks into the bar soon after with the same expression on his face and sits a few stools down from her while also beginning to drink heavily. Eventually, the woman slides down and asks him what's wrong.

"My girlfriend just broke up with me because I'm too kinky," he replied.

"You're kidding" she says, "That's the exact same reason my boyfriend just broke up with me."

They drink a little more and eventually she suggests they go back to her place. "We clearly have a lot in common so let's go get kinky together," she says. He happily agrees.

They get back to her place and she tells him to wait there while she goes to slip into something a little more comfortable. She goes upstairs and opens up her collection of dominatrix accessories: thigh high leather boots, nipple clamps, whips, chains, handcuffs, ball gags, dildos - the works. She gets dressed and walks downstairs just in time to see him putting on his coat getting ready to leave.

"Where are you going? I thought we were gonna get kinky?"

"Look lady, I fucked your dog, I shit in your purse. I'm outta here."

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