said Jimmy’s grandmother, whose crippling Alzheimer’s has robbed her of all her memories.
Thứ Bảy, 10 tháng 2, 2018
A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident....
The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye.
The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him up. While at the bar, he's still just sitting there looking depressed, not really talking. One of his friends suggests he tries to talk to a cute girl who seems alone at the bar.
"No, she'll never go for a man with a wooden eye," the man says.
"Okay, how about that girl over there?" His friend responds. "She has a really big nose".
The man walks over to the girl and asks, "Would you like to dance?"
Very excited, and shocked, to be asked to dance by such an attractive man, the woman responses "Would, I?! Would I?!"
To which the man quickly responds "Big nose! Big nose!"
Donald trump and Queen
Donald Trump is meeting The Queen, and he says to her:
“As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom."
To which the Queen replies. ‘I'm sorry Mr Trump, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."
Donald Trump thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?" to which the Queen replied, "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr Trump”
Trump thought long and hard and came up with, "How about an Empire then?" The Queen, getting a little pissed off by now replied, " Sorry again, Mr Trump, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor."
Before Trump could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country."
Thứ Sáu, 9 tháng 2, 2018
A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin.
A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin at a table. He asks them what they were doing and was told that they were planning WW3. Hitler says, "We are going to kill 15 million jews, and a bicycle repairman." The man, confused asks, "Why the bicycle repairman?" Hitler turns to Stalin and tells him, "See? I told you no one would care about the 15 million Jews!"
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