The car of the future is taking shape—and it will know how we feel about it

The car of the future is taking shape—and it will know how we feel about it
Love it or hate it, CES is where you see the future of the automobile.

February 12, 2018 at 01:49AM
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My boyfriend is getting me a dildo cast from his own penis for Valentine's day...

We're only doing small gifts this year.

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A lady walks into a pet store...

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway. She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing. Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New whores in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off. A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

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After my wife died, I haven't been able to look at other women for 10 years...

But now that I'm out of prison I can honestly say that it was worth it.

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The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

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Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars.

Husband: That is true - wars require strategy and logic.

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Girl: "Come over"

Guy: "I'm coming over"

Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies when we're having sex, over."

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