I'm calling it OK Stupid.
Thứ Năm, 15 tháng 2, 2018
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
Back in high school..
...I was a huge metal fan. In math class, I had an 8/10 girl next to me, she turns me on so much. I always try really hard to impress her, she's so hot. The teacher starts passing back last weeks test, and 8/10 looks at me, smiles, and starts playing with her hair. I can't handle it, I start spinning. The cute girl is completely staring now. I completely break down and stop spinning. She frowns, and I'm trying so hard to keep cool, but I had absolutely no power whatsoever. The teacher turns and plugs me back in, and I start spinning again. I was a metal fan in high school.
Timothée Chalamet Is a Once-in-a-Generation Talent
Timothée Chalamet Is a Once-in-a-Generation Talent
Timothée Chalamet, star of "Call Me By Your Name," is having his first big moment in a career that'll be filled with many. And he's determined not to screw it up.
February 14, 2018 at 10:52PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2BrTDQi
Two priests were playing golf...
Father Bob hit his ball into the woods on his first swing, "Damn it! That totally missed!" he cursed.
"You shouldn't curse Father Bob!" said Father Michael "Or god might punish you!"
Father Bob apologized and they went on playing.
On his next swing, Father Bob hit his ball into the sand pit. "Damn it! That totally missed!" he cursed again.
Again, Father Michael warned, "Do not utter such words Father Bob, lest god punishes you for it!"
Father Bob apologized again and they continued playing.
On his third swing, Father Bob hit his ball into the pond. "Damn it! That totally missed!" cursed Father Bob once again.
Before Father Michael could say anything, a ominous dark cloud suddenly gathered out of the blue sky and a vicious lightning came down and stroke Father Michael, killing him instantly.
Father Bob was completely stunned, before he could understand what was happening in front of him, he heard a thunderous deep voice coming from the sky - "Damn it! That totally missed!"
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