I don't know what she charges him for it though.
Thứ Sáu, 23 tháng 2, 2018
Murder @ Wal-Mart
So here's the story. . .
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed..
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........
The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested..
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...
(You're going to hate me for this ... )
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'
Brendan Fraser on His Comeback, Disappearance, and the Experience that Nearly Ended His Career
Brendan Fraser on His Comeback, Disappearance, and the Experience that Nearly Ended His Career
GQ's Zach Baron reports on the stupendous rise and surprising disappearance of the once ubiquitous movie star.
February 22, 2018 at 09:56PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2HF6waE
Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
The greatest swordsman in the world.
There was a competition going on in Spain to see who the worlds greatest swordsman was. The final three competitors had been chosen and were brought on stage in front of the anticipating crowd to showcase their talent. The first swordsman stepped forward causing the crowd to hush. One of the judges proceeded to release a small black fly and let it buzz around the stage. With the flick of his wrist and faster than you can blink the fly hit the ground in two pieces. The audience bursts into applause as the swordsman steps back. Next is the second swordsmans turn and he faces the same challenge. The fly is is released and in two swift motions he cuts the fly into four pieces. The audience is even more impressed and gives the man a standing ovation. Finally the third swordsman takes the spotlight and another fly is released onto the stage. The swordsman takes one quick swish at the fly but it continues to fly around the stage. The audience is dumbstruck. Finally someone from the audience speaks up: "sir... The fly is still alive." "Ah, si" replies the swordsman "but he will never be a father"
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