Tough As Nails Baby Makes Clear That She Does Not Share Food
And no, she does not give a rat's ass that said food has already been in the mouth of a pigeon.
February 24, 2018 at 11:43PM
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Chủ Nhật, 25 tháng 2, 2018
Tough As Nails Baby Makes Clear That She Does Not Share Food
Tough As Nails Baby Makes Clear That She Does Not Share Food
And no, she does not give a rat's ass that said food has already been in the mouth of a pigeon.
February 24, 2018 at 11:43PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2oojr8W
So the Pope is SUPER early for his flight.
He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."
Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."
Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir."
Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."
Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."
Three friends: two straight guys, and a gay guy - and their respective partners are on a cruise.
A tidal wave then came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned.
Next thing you know, they’re standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
First up came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St Peter shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, I cannot let you in. You were too greedy. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.”
Up next was the second straight guy and his wife. “I’m sorry, for I cannot let you in either. You were also gluttonous. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!”
At this, the gay guy gulped and turned to his boyfriend, whispering nervously, “This doesn’t look good, Dick.”
A man is leaving for a business trip and is worried his wife might be unfaithful, so he stops by a sex shop.
He explains his situation to the owner of the store and the owner smiles widely, "I have just the thing for you." From behind the counter she pulls out an old wooden box with strange writing scratched all over it. "I will let you rent this," she says. She opens the box and inside is a large, smooth dildo. "This is the Voodoo Dick. I will let you rent it for $1000." The man scoffs at her, "you can't be serious. It doesn't even look like it takes batteries," he starts for the door, "Thanks, but no thanks. Have a good day." As he is heading for the door the owner shouts, "VOODOO DICK, THE DOOR!" Suddenly the dildo flies out of its box and through the air, it hits the lock on the door and starts going at it like a jack hammer. The door is starting to bend from the pounding, and the owner shouts, "VOODOO DICK, YOUR BOX!" The magic dildo stops pounding and flies back into its box. The man is jaw dropped. "Wow!" He says smiling, "I'll take it!" The man is running late for his flight so he stops by his house and hands his wife the box. "When your feeling horny sweetheart just open this box and say, 'VOODOO DICK MY PUSSY!'" She starts to laugh but he assures her it will be great, and jumps into a cab to catch his flight. The next day she starts to feel the need, and although she feels foolish doing it she lays on the bed and opens the box. "VOODOO DICK, MY PUSSY!" BAM! The Voodoo Dick flies into action. It starts pounding away at her and within 2 minutes she already had 5 orgasms, a minute later she's up to 7. She grabs the dildo to pull it out, but it's to strong. It keeps pounding away, another orgasm...she pulls and pulls, but can't get it to stop. She tries calling her husband but he doesn't answer, boom, another orgasm. All she can think to do is go to the hospital to get it out. She makes her way to the car, another orgasm. She driving down the highway, having orgasm after orgasm, swerving all over the road. A trooper sees this car swerving every where and pulls her over. The officer walks up to her door, "Well you've obviously been drinking.." he says. "No officer," she's panting, "you don't under stand. I'm sober, I have a Voodoo Dick stuck in my pussy and I can't get it out." The officer leans back and laughs, "Voodoo Dick my ass!."
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