Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

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Thứ Ba, 27 tháng 2, 2018

An atheist's response to witnessing the second coming of Christ.

"Well, I'll be damned."

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

"Well", he replied.  "I said I was 87!"

I got arrested for killing a black man.

They charged me with impersonating a police officer.

A young teenage girl was making a living as a prostitute

and for obvious reasons she kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck em dry!"

Thứ Hai, 26 tháng 2, 2018

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?

Haaaaaaaaaand Eyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeee

Actual joke dad said this morning

waitress: How do you like your eggs?

dad: in a cake

Got an email from Google the other day...

"At Google Earth, we're so good we can read maps backwards"

I thought "that's just spam."