A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie [long]

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "OK, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well. He certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother....

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Today r/Jokes is joining Operation: #OneMoreVote to save net neutrality

This past December, the FCC voted to kill net neutrality, letting internet providers like Verizon and Comcast impose new fees, throttle bandwidth, and censor online content. If this happens, subreddits like this one might not exist. We can still block the repeal using the Congressional Review Act (CRA), and we’re just one vote away from winning in the Senate and taking the fight to the House. That’s why today we’re joining Operation: #OneMoreVote, an Internet-wide day of action. This affects every redditor as well as every Internet user, and we...

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Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his countries militaristic superiority. "Folks, I can tell you, our Navy Submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can stay dived from the moment they leave the Port, to the day they enter it again 6 Months later. You haven't ever seen such great Submarines in your entire life, folks." Putin, not looking really impressed, answerers: "That's great, Donald. But my new Nuclear Submarines can stay submerged for almost an entire year. They are...

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Gender Equality

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality. "No", the man replied. "Land-mines."...

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Two women had been having a friendly lunch, when the subject turned to sex. “You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems." Linda told her friend. “That’s amazing!” Mary replied. “So have Tom and I."

"We’re thinking of going to a sex therapist." said Linda. “Oh, we could never do that! We’d be too embarrassed!” responded Mary. “But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?” Several weeks passed and the two friends met for lunch again. “So how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?” Mary asked. “Things couldn’t be better!” Linda exclaimed. “We began with a physical exam and afterward, the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts....

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I may be bad at telling jokes, but...

I am amazing at clickbait....

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One day, Canada will become a superpower and take over the whole world

Then you'll all be sorry...

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