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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Tư, 28 tháng 2, 2018

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie [long]

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "OK, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well. He certainly is your son!"

The robot slaps the mother.

Today r/Jokes is joining Operation: #OneMoreVote to save net neutrality

This past December, the FCC voted to kill net neutrality, letting internet providers like Verizon and Comcast impose new fees, throttle bandwidth, and censor online content. If this happens, subreddits like this one might not exist.

We can still block the repeal using the Congressional Review Act (CRA), and we’re just one vote away from winning in the Senate and taking the fight to the House. That’s why today we’re joining Operation: #OneMoreVote, an Internet-wide day of action.

This affects every redditor as well as every Internet user, and we only have a 60 legislative days left to stop it. Please, take a moment of your time to join the protest by contacting your lawmakers.

Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his countries militaristic superiority.

"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy Submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can stay dived from the moment they leave the Port, to the day they enter it again 6 Months later. You haven't ever seen such great Submarines in your entire life, folks."

Putin, not looking really impressed, answerers:

"That's great, Donald. But my new Nuclear Submarines can stay submerged for almost an entire year. They are able to drive around the whole world without refueling, restocking, surfacing. What do you think of that?"

The two turn to Angela Merkel, and ask, "How long can the German Submarines stay dived, Mrs Merkel?"

Before Mrs Merkel can answer, the water next to them starts bubbling, and a big grey hull emerges from the sea. As soon as it comes to rest, the hatch on the tower creeks open, and a man in black uniform steps out. He raises his hand, and shouts, "Heil Hitler, we need more Diesel."

Thứ Ba, 27 tháng 2, 2018

Gender Equality

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.

The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.

"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

Two women had been having a friendly lunch, when the subject turned to sex. “You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems." Linda told her friend. “That’s amazing!” Mary replied. “So have Tom and I."

"We’re thinking of going to a sex therapist." said Linda.

“Oh, we could never do that! We’d be too embarrassed!” responded Mary. “But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?”

Several weeks passed and the two friends met for lunch again.

“So how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?” Mary asked.

“Things couldn’t be better!” Linda exclaimed. “We began with a physical exam and afterward, the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every a grape went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it’s better than it’s ever been!”

With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist.

After the physical exams were completed, the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office.

“I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you.” he said.

“But doctor!” Mary complained. “You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can’t you give us some help? Any help at all?”

“Well, OK.” the doctor answered. “On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios.”

I may be bad at telling jokes, but...

I am amazing at clickbait.

One day, Canada will become a superpower and take over the whole world

Then you'll all be sorry