Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother,

But then I realized that she was from Alabama.

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My friend Tommy drowned the other day...

At his funeral, we placed a lifejacket on his coffin.

It's what he would have wanted...

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat

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I was going to post a time traveling joke

But you guys didn’t like it

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A guy rings his new girlfriend's doorbell

She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in. Shes lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"

"Don't be silly" says the boyfriend "you must have a vase somewhere!"

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

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Ohio Can’t Get Enough Of The Hyperloop, A Mode Of Transportation That Doesn't Exist

Ohio Can’t Get Enough Of The Hyperloop, A Mode Of Transportation That Doesn't Exist
The cost per mile of hyperloop is currently infinite, because there is no hyperloop.

March 4, 2018 at 01:09AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2CWy2wz

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