...how to win her back.
Thứ Sáu, 9 tháng 3, 2018
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
A man dies and goes to heaven...
As he stands in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates, he sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.
"What are those clocks for?" He asks.
"Those are Lie-Clocks, everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move forward." St. Peter responded.
"Oh," the man replied, looking at a clock set at midnight, he asks, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's George Washington's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he has never told a lie." Replied St. Peter.
Pointing to another clock, St. Peter continues, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe has told two lies in his lifetime."
"Where's Trump's clock?" The man asks.
"His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it for a ceiling fan."
Edit: Kicked Mother Teresa to the curb.
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