TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound.

At least, I'm pretty sure...it's correct

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Cat Wants To Fish, But There's Just One Small Problem

Cat Wants To Fish, But There's Just One Small Problem
There's a whole layer of ice separating him from his prey.

March 10, 2018 at 11:48PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2p6cqZF

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I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!!

“Wow, your dad’s a millionaire?” “No, but he always wanted to be.”

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Why don't men in the Middle East smoke weed?

Only women get stoned.

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His Confession

"Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest replies, "Tell me your sins my child."

The doctor says, "I slept with five of my patients. I know it was wrong, not mention unethical. Since it happened, I've barely been able to sleep and I have no appetite. I feel so guilty."

The priest consoles him saying, "You must learn to forgive yourself."

The man replies, "But how can I? How can I return from this sin?"

The priest says, "You're not the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you won't be last."

The man nods in consent while the priest absolves him.

As they exit the confessional, the priest looks at the doctor and says, "I hate to ask, but seeing as you're a doctor, do you think that you could take a look at my throat, it's been sore for days."
The man replies, "I'd love to father, but I'm not that type of doctor. I'm a veterinarian."

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The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican NSFW

When the Pope answers the door, Dopey steps forward and nervously asks "Your Excellency, I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

"No Dopey, I don't think there are," the Pope replies.

The other six dwarfs start to giggle.

"Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?" Dopey persists.

"No, none in all of Italy," the Pope answers more sternly.

The dwarfs begin to laugh even more.

"Are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?"

This time the Pope is much more firm. "Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

By now, the other dwarfs are laughing aloud.

"Your Excellency," Dopey demands. "Are there any dwarf nuns in the whole world?"

"No Dopey, " the Pope snaps. "There are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world!"

The six dwarfs start jumping up and down, chanting "Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!"

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What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

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