How do you say goodbye to 20,000 Japanese?

With a big wave.

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A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked,

"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my faith and made love to a woman."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats a fucking ham sandwich, doesn"t it?"

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My sexual desires have been getting out of control, but it wasn’t until I spanked a statue...

...that I knew I’d hit rock bottom.

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Cacio e Pepe Is the Perfect Food Everyone Should Know How to Make

Cacio e Pepe Is the Perfect Food Everyone Should Know How to Make
The ultimate comfort food for late nights and impromptu parties.

March 10, 2018 at 01:00AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2p2q9Ro

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This Is What Happens When Bitcoin Miners Take Over Your Town

This Is What Happens When Bitcoin Miners Take Over Your Town
Eastern Washington had cheap power and tons of space. Then the suitcases of cash started arriving.

March 9, 2018 at 08:33PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2IdOcph

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The Husband Store

So a new store opened up in town where women can go and find the love of their lives. There are some rules though:

1. You can only shop once. Ever.
2. The quality of the 'merchandise' increases as you go up a floor (there are 6 floors total)
3. You can choose any product from any floor, but once you go up a floor you cannot come back to the previous floor.

So one day a group of friends decide to give this place a visit. Once they go into the first floor of the store, they are greeted with a sign that says:

WELCOME TO THE FIRST FLOOR: All the men here are average-looking and have no jobs.

The girls just laugh and proceed to the second floor.

WELCOME TO THE SECOND FLOOR: All the men here are good-looking and have decent paying jobs.

The girls go 'That's nice, but let's see what else they've got'. So they proceed to the next floor.

WELCOME TO THE THIRD FLOOR: All the men here are good-looking, have decent paying jobs and are excellent in bed.

'Now we're talking!' shout the girls in excitement. 'But we still have three more floors to go, let's see what else they've got' So they proceed to the next floor.

WELCOME TO THE FOURTH FLOOR: All the men here are extremely good-looking, have high-paying jobs so you won't have to work a day in your life, are excellent in bed and they absolutely love kids.

The girls cannot contain their excitement and have half a mind to go into this door but the idea of two more floors is just too enticing. So they proceed to the next floor.

WELCOME TO THE FIFTH FLOOR: All the men here are extremely good-looking, have high-paying jobs so you won't have to work a day in your life, are excellent in bed, they absolutely love kids, are super romantic and they will never be unfaithful.

Now the girls are just absolutely squealing and are about to go thru this door when they remember there's still one more floor. 'What could be better than this? Remember we can't ever come back if we leave' they think. But curiosity gets the best from them. So they proceed to the next floor.

WELCOME TO THE SIXTH FLOOR: There are no men here. This floor is here just as proof that women are impossible to please. You are the 31,428,474th visitor of this floor. Thank you for shopping with us!

BONUS:

They opened a Wife Store next door with the same rules:

1. You can only shop once. Ever.
2. The quality of the 'merchandise' increases as you go up a floor (there are 6 floors total)
3. You can choose any product from any floor, but once you go up a floor you cannot come back to the previous floor.

FIRST FLOOR: All the women here won't nag you a day in your life.

To this day, nobody knows what's in the second floor.

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The Dragonborn is pissed I won't teach him the first part of Unrelenting Force.

I don't see what all the fus is about.

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