The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest. For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins. First, the MI5 leaves for the forest. When they emerge eight hours later, they carry a live rabbit in a cage. "We posted lookouts around the forest, and after spotting the rabbit, we shadowed it until it showed us his hideout, we then just placed the cage over...

Read More

My girlfriend said she's fed up with me always pretending I’m a detective, and that we should split up...

I told her that’s great, we can cover more ground that way....

Read More

An engineer, physicist, and mathematician have been imprisoned.

At some point, the warden realizes that the three men haven't been fed in a while. He accompanies an officer to check up on them. The warden and officer arrive at the first cell that contained the engineer. To their astonishment, the cell was empty and the wall had a hole in it. "How is that possible?" said the officer. "That wall was solid concrete!" The warden quietly inspected the cell. After a few minutes, he exited and said, "He seems to have built a pick out of the eating utensils we gave him and used it to make the hole." The warden and...

Read More

Why do Jews watch porn backwards?

Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back....

Read More

65,000,011 years ago

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."...

Read More

I like my women like I like my mathematical constants.

Round and irrational. Happy Pi Day everyone!...

Read More

There was a nerd who understood every joke.

No matter how cryptic or vague the joke was, he always figured out the punchline. Soon, people started to make bets with him, trying him out. However, every time was the same, he would win the bet. His popularity rose up and soon people would crowd around him as he took more and more bets, cheering for him. The word of his popularity reached his dad too. Afraid that his son is becoming too proud, he decided to end it for once and for all. He also made a bet and told a joke, "Love and Sex". The nerd was completely stumped. For the first time, he...

Read More