Wife replies, Take half and leave your sorry ass. Husband replies, Good, I won 12 dollars, here's 6 now get the hell out!
Thứ Năm, 22 tháng 3, 2018
Thứ Tư, 21 tháng 3, 2018
Two scientists walk into a restaurant. The first one says, "I'll have an H2O."
The second one says, "I'll also have a glass of water. Why are you referring to it so strangely. We're not at work anymore."
The first scientist goes into the bathroom and cries. His assassination attempt has failed.
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.
He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way, folks...like I said - my boy's a typical Irish baby boy." Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.....so how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born." The father takes a slow swig from his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
So a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less.
The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."
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