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Thứ Tư, 11 tháng 4, 2018

Two hunters were walking in the woods...

One of them stops and says, "Whoa, whoa! Watch out for that hole!".

They both stop and look down what appears to be the deepest hole they'd ever seen, right in the ground in front of them.

"How deep is that?", one of them asks the other.

"I dunno, let's throw something down and see".

They spot a rusty old anvil a couple metres from the hole, so drag it closer to the hole and drop it in.

Even after moments, they don't hear the anvil hit the bottom.

Looking at each other in disbelief, they suddenly hear the fast thuds of an animal approaching.

Looking around, they both see a goat run past them at top speed, and dive down the hole.

"Becky! Becky!"

The two hunters see a farmer running out of the bushes and asks, "Have you guys seen a goat anywhere?"

"Yes!", the first hunter replies, "We just saw it jump down that hole!".

"But that's impossible!", the farmer replies, "I had her chained to an anvil!".

If Jesus Christ died for our sins...

then who died for our cos and tans?

Thứ Ba, 10 tháng 4, 2018

Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X

We'll probably get to see 9/11 next year

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed.

Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?

Because X was always 10

If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant, I'll kill him...

...with my bear hands...

How did 10 die?

He was caught in the middle of 9/11