I woke up to a warm, luscious blowjob today...

That's the last time I fall asleep on a train with my mouth open......

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I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...

Must be the same ring I put on when I got married......

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How my Husband and I Terrified a Taxi Driver

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn't want to leave them un-chaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again. Because I didn't want the taxi...

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People say smoking will give you diseases.

What they don't know is that it cures salmon....

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I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen...

I can feel it......

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I named my eraser Confidence...

Because it gets smaller with every mistake I make...

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I felt very lonely so I bought some stocks

It's nice to have a bit of company....

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