Baa- dum- ssss
Thứ Năm, 19 tháng 4, 2018
A union worker goes to a brothel...
A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80.00 and the girls get $20.00."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this IS a Union House."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80.00 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!!!" the UAW man said. He handed the Madam $100.00, looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam, then gesturing to an 85 year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has Seniority."
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife...
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation that was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The medicine man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, 'This is powerful medicine. It must be respected. You take only teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become manlier than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want." The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until next full moon."
The old man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Thứ Tư, 18 tháng 4, 2018
I was sitting on a train yesterday and saw this stunningly beautiful Thai girl.
I thought to myself, “Please don’t get an erection, Please don’t get an erection”. But she did.
Where do little jokes come from?
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)
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