Shuriken.
Thứ Ba, 24 tháng 4, 2018
A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine," he says. "Your brother named them."
Oh, no, the new mother thinks. He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, "What's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
Not bad, she thinks. I guess I was wrong about him. "And the boy?"
"DeNephew."
The Irish Square testicals
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'.
The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.'
'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Ireland '
Three Friends Goes On A Hunting Trip.
3 friends are on a hunting trip in the woods. After a successful day, they brought a buck back to their camp to field dress. They then proceed to get drunk and are having a all around good time. One of the hunters announces that he has to take a shit, so he shuffles off into the woods for privacy. Some time goes by and the other 2 start to wonder why he's taking so long. They start looking for him in the woods, and lo and behold, he is found sitting with his pants around his ankles on a log, his bare ass hanging off the side, totally passed out from drinking so much. Rather than wake their friend, they decided to play a joke on him. They left, and returned with a bucket of the guts from the buck they shot. They dump the guts under their friend's bare ass and leave.
The next morning, they awake to their friend walking stiffly out of the woods. They snicker and ask what happened to him, and if he had a good shit. He responds:"Well, I passed out mid-shit, and when I woke up I realized I had shit all of my guts out. But by the grace of god and the help of a big stick, I got i all back in!"
Michael Cohen case shines light on Sean Hannity's real estate empire
Michael Cohen case shines light on Sean Hannity's real estate empire
Hannity bought homes that were foreclosed on despite criticizing the foreclosure rate under Barack Obama.
April 23, 2018 at 07:02PM
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