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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Chủ Nhật, 29 tháng 4, 2018

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket ...

... where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly."

My wife and I decided to not have kids

The kids are taking it pretty hard.

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals

I M LIVID

A blonde walked into a gas station...

A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, "I locked my keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door."

"Why, sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially for that."

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice. "No, no, a little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

My girlfriend says I'm average.

I think she's mean.

Thứ Bảy, 28 tháng 4, 2018

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet.

I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!