The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

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Teacher at parents meeting :

-Your boy was caught smoking marijuana !!!

The mother angrily :

-I can't believe it. I wonder where he found it from ??

-He said he got it from his best friend.

The father, wiping a happy tear :

-He really said that ... ?

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Why was the anti-vaxxer‘s 4 year old child crying?

Midlife crisis

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I came across a fellow pimp treating one of his girls poorly the other day. I tried to offer up some advice to which he replied...

"Mind your own fucking business."

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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him...

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...

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My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography…

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If there is an elephant in the room and nobody notices

is it irrelephant?

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