Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Tư, 2 tháng 5, 2018

What do a horny walrus and a tupperware container have in common?

They're both looking for a tight seal....

Who led the Jews through a semi permeable membrane?

Osmoses...

Once upon a time, in a magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below. Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, he hit upon a beautifully intricate note of pure magic. Everyone within miles just froze in mid action, stirred to the very core of their souls by the pure bliss of the tone. And all the realm realized, instantly, that it was Sam, and Sam was the first person...

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.  One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague,Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor.Horatio thought about this, and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.  Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.  The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and...

Did you guys know that the Soviet Union made the best bread in history?

People would wait days in line for a single piece!...

A stoner is smoking a joint at a hostel when a German guy turns up.

The German guy speaks no English, but the stoner is feeling good so he offers the German his joint. The German takes a puff, thanks him, and hands it back. The stoner nods approvingly, and for some reason begins to roll another joint. He takes a puff himself, and hands it to the German, and again the German guy takes a puff, thanks him, and hands it back. The stoner looks pretty taken aback, but again he nods approvingly and begins to roll yet another joint. Again he takes a puff and gives it to the German, and again the German takes a puff, thanks...

Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 5, 2018

Two Conspiracy Theorists Die...

...as they stand before God waiting to be judged, God tells them that they each may ask him one question they have always wanted to be answered and he would answer it. One of the conspiracy theorists steps forward and asks “who was REALLY behind 9/11?” Before God can answer, the second one steps forward and says “can you confirm that vaccines cause autism and tell us who stands to profit from their continued use?” God replies “9/11 was planned by Osama bin Laden and carried out by members of Al-Qaeda. Vaccines do not cause autism, and the only...