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Thứ Bảy, 30 tháng 6, 2018

Did you know the first condoms were invented by the Welsh out of sheep's intestines?

The English improved on the invention by taking the intestines out of the sheep before using them.

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy...

There was this beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered.

“No, this is my first time”

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused, so she looked all around the store to see if it was empty, and it was.

“Just a minute,” she said, and walked to the door, locking it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.

“Do these excite you,” she asked

Well, I was so dumb struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said that it was the time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties, and laid down on a desk.

“Well, come on,” she said, “we don’t have much time.” So, I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that I could no longer hold it back, and BOOM, I was done with it in a few minutes. She looked at me with a bit of a frown.

“Did you put that condom on?” She asked.

“I’m sure I did,” and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.

I went to an archaeologist’s party where we were excavating a lower leg bone.

It was quite the shindig.

An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop...

...with a pair of torn pants.

Euripides? Asked the tailor.

Eumenides? Replied the man.

"What's your favourite position?" asked my date.

I said, "It's the spider."

She said, "I don't know it."

"Well," I said, "it's when I stand in a corner of the room and you scream naughty things at me."

Today I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "in 4K ultra high definition" was not the right answer.

Capital Gazette Releases A Paper The Day After Its Office Was Attacked


Capital Gazette Releases A Paper The Day After Its Office Was Attacked
In spite of the tragedy, Gazette reporters were steadfast that they would be publishing the paper as normal on Friday, and they followed through.

June 29, 2018 at 06:53PM
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