Twenty years ago a man was driving down a deserted road in Arizona...

...he sees a sign that says, "Amazing Red Cloud, the Indian who remembers everything."

So the guy pulls over and there under a canopy sits an American Indian.

The guy thinks for a minute and asks the Indian, "What did you have for breakfast on July 8th, 1987?"

The Indian says, "Eggs".

Skeptically, the guy says, "That proves nothing." and he gets back into in his car and drives away.

Twenty years later, the same guy and his, now, family are on vacation in Arizona when the guy passes the same sign; "Amazing Red Cloud, the Indian who remembers everything".

So the guy pulls over and sure enough there is the same Indian, sitting under a canopy. The guy walks up to the Indian and, still skeptical, raises his hand and says "How."

The Indian says, "Scrambled."

Read More

It's stupid when girls say they can't find a guy, yet they ignore me.

It's like saying you're hungry when there's a hotdog on the ground outside.

Read More

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!".

The lion abruptly stops and says " woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can".

Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily "get on my back, we'll get him together".

So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago..."

Read More

Scott Pruitt Made His Employees Pay For His Hotels — Here Are All The Worst Things He's Done As EPA Head

Scott Pruitt Made His Employees Pay For His Hotels — Here Are All The Worst Things He's Done As EPA Head
Monday night brought another round of damaging revelations for the embattled head of the EPA, Scott Pruitt.

July 3, 2018 at 11:03PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2u1ksFU

Read More

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin...

She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit and, as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar she asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

Read More

I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer

Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice

Read More

A mother is scolding her son

- Your teacher called me today. He told me you said the c word in class. Is that true?

- Yes, mom.

- That wasn't clever now, was it?

- Nah mom, it was cunt.

Read More