would they call it Amazon Web Services?
Thứ Năm, 19 tháng 7, 2018
Wife Missing?
The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!
Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!" Sheriff: "Height?" Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall." Sheriff: "Weight?" Husband: "Don't know. Not slim, not really fat." Sheriff: "Color of eyes?" Husband: "Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed." Sheriff: "Color of hair?" Husband: "Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember." Sheriff: "What was she wearing?" Husband: "Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly." Sheriff: "What kind of car did she go in?" Husband: "She went in my truck." Sheriff: "What kind of truck was it?" Husband: "A 2016 Brilliant Diesel Grey Pearlcoat Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4 l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, backup and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting." At this point the husband started choking up. Sheriff: "Take it easy sir, we'll find your truck!!!"
(Thanks to Ron P.)
A boy is watching TV with his father when a sex scene comes on.
"Well son, time for bed," the father says. "But dad, I'm 16 now!" the son complains. The father replies, "I don't care how old you are, you're not watching me masturbate."
A Bus filled with Catholic School girls droves off a cliff
A bus filled with Catholic school girls goes off a cliff and they all die.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Erica, have you ever had any contact with a penis? She giggles and shyly replies, "I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Sarah, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
Suddenly there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St. Peter says, "Ashley, What is going on here?" The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."
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