Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?
Do you smoke?
No.
Do you eat too much?
No.
Do you go to bed late?
No.
Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
No.
Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?
Thứ Hai, 30 tháng 7, 2018
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it.
God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.
She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance.
She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought you said I had another 30 years!!
God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."
What's the best thing about dating 26 year olds?
Honestly I'm looking for a persuasive answer, I need to tell my wife something convincing or she's going to straight up kill me.
"Have you not got a girlfriend?" "No dad."
"Do you think you will ever get a girlfriend?
"No dad, not at all."
"Are you gay?
"No dad, and will you please fuck off with your lesbian fantasies."
Đăng ký:
Nhận xét (Atom)