FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
and bets anyone in the bar $100 if they have a musical instrument his octopus can’t play he’ll pay them $10,000. A man immediately hops up with a harmonica, confident he had won the money. But the octopus shows expert skill with the harmonica, receiving a round of applause from the other patrons. Another man hesitantly proceeds with a banjo, laying it on a stool next to the octopus. The octopus eyed the man unwaveringly and reached for the instrument with a single tentacle and pulled it into a familiar position. The man already knew he was beaten before a note was played, not that it stopped the octopus from chopping down a bluegrass solo that elicited another round of applause from a now growing crowd. Then a third man placed a set of bagpipes at the foot of the octopus who had become silent and seemed to apprehend this instrument with a quiet awe. He inspected it closely, then pulled it to one side, then lifted it above and examined it from underneath. His partner now becoming worried leaned in, “Hurry up and play it! There’s a line of people with instruments out here we’re gonna make a fortune!” But the octopus remained diligently observing the bagpipes. “Play it? If I can figure out how to get these pajamas off I’m gonna fuck it!”
'Dad, what's Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see s his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father,
'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies,
'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'
Kid 2: "Yeah I was a virgin until last night"
Kid 1: "As if"
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister"
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister"
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months"
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers. He shakes his head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." He knocks on wood for good luck. He then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
...when all of a sudden, it starts to rain. One woman reaches into her pocketbook and pulls out a small square item. She tears it open and unfurls a condom, only to place it over her cigarette, which keeps it dry.
The other woman looks on in awe. “What is that thing? It’s genius! Normally I have to put out my smoke when it starts to rain - I have to get one of those!”
The first woman replies, “oh it’s just a condom. They sell them at the drug store around the corner.”
After work that day, the second woman hurries over to the drugstore and walks up to the pharmacist. “Excuse me sir, I’d like to buy some condoms.”
“Of course, ma’am! What size would you like?”
“Oh just one that will fit a camel”
Edit: a word
Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?
Do you smoke?
No.
Do you eat too much?
No.
Do you go to bed late?
No.
Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
No.
Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?