But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
Thứ Hai, 6 tháng 8, 2018
Growing Up Jobs
Growing Up Jobs
Steve Jobs and Chrisann Brennan were 23 when their daughter was born. Lisa Brennan-Jobs remembers the pride and pain of a childhood spent navigating the vastness between her struggling single mom and Apple's mercurial founder.
August 6, 2018 at 06:02AM
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Kidnapper: [on phone] we have your son.
Kidnapper: [on phone] we have your son.
Wife: actually I’m holding my son.
Kidnapper: [getting frustrated] then who the heck just asked for chocolate milk with a straw and made us cut the crust off his PB&J?
Wife: oh god.
Kidnapper: what?
Wife. you have my husband.
The Nigerian king
Agnes, a middle-aged New York widow is feeling very lonely one day, so she decides to bite the bullet and try internet dating. Her initial attempts don't go very well, as most of the contact she receives varies from dick pics to guys asking for nudes. She's about to give up when one day she's contacted by a very polite, kind seeming gentleman named Odaka from Nigeria. They chat for weeks, even video-conferencing, and she eventually discovers that he is actually a king is his country and that his former spouse had also passed some years before. All the woman's friends warn her that the relationship is probably a scan, but the man seems so earnest that she ignores them.
One day, her online paramour announces that he is coming to visit her in the USA. Her friends insist that they accompany her to the airport when she meets him, still mindful of scams. To their surprise, the man arrives in a private jet with a royal entourage. He is indeed a king!
Feeling embarrassed, they do their best to make up for their doubt and fully support the couple. Agnes and her lover have a great time. He loves America and is in wonder with some of the big city. Despite being king - he explains - he has never left his home city, which is not very large and is quite isolated. Agnes and the king move in together and are very happy.
After awhile, though, the relationship starts to feel strained. Odaka is becoming increasingly distant, and seems to be very unhappy.
Worried, Agnes asks him what's wrong, but he half-heatedly assures her all is fine.
This goes on for awhile, and finally the friends intervene.
Is something wrong between him and Agnes, they wonder.
Odaka assures them that Agnes is the more lovely woman he's ever known, and that it's not her fault
Worriedly, they ask if their previous distrust has driven a wedge between the couple, but Odaka tells them that he understands and that he is very happy with the support they've given them since his arrival.
What then, they ask, is the problem.
Well, he tells them: "Agnes is incredible, and her friends are all very nice, but..."
The friends press him for an answer, worried that he may have a potential health issue or some other serious problem. Finally, he tells them:
"New York is a wonder and America a great country, but..."
"I miss the reigns down in Africa!"
A group of old friends discussed where they should meet for lunch for their reunion.
They were all aged about 40.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant, because the waitresses there were pretty.
Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was good and the wine selection was excellent.
Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator.
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
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