What does the F in Ethiopia stand for?

Food

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I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs...

"Really?" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and demanded "Come on, what day was I born?"

“Yesterday." I replied.

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I call my weed "The Quran"

Because burning it will get you stoned

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Massive Ocean Wave Swallows Up Ship

Massive Ocean Wave Swallows Up Ship
​One of the scary things about the ocean is that you can see its biggest waves coming from hundreds of feet away. And there's nothing you can do about it.

August 9, 2018 at 09:38PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2M2XREy

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Which president is least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln. He is in a cent

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I'm American and I hate it when people say that America is the stupidest country in the world.

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

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My wife is turning 32 soon...

I’ve told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday. “After all,” I said, “The celebrations are only going to last half a minute.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

I said, “It’s your thirty-second birthday.”

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