You get repossessed.
Chủ Nhật, 26 tháng 8, 2018
A Pop Star, A Protest, And A Likely Case Of Torture In Uganda
A Pop Star, A Protest, And A Likely Case Of Torture In Uganda
The singer-turned-legislator Bobi Wine disappeared into government custody more than a week ago. When he re-emerged, he could barely stand up.
August 26, 2018 at 09:03PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2PCagNW
A young man gets a job at the local grocery store.
His job is to bag the customers' groceries at checkout. It's mindless work, but he does not complain and performs his job well.
After working in the store for a couple of months, the store's produce section gets a juicing machine. Customers bring their selections of fruits and vegetables to the machine and an attendant juices the produce for them, making the freshest of juices.
The young man, wanting to move beyond bagging groceries, asks the manager if he can have the job of juice machine attendant. The manager denies his request.
The young man is upset, but figures that he will continue to prove his worth bagging groceries and eventually he will get the juicing job. Another few months pass and the young man approaches his manager again.
"Ma'am, I would like to request the job of juice machine attendant." Sadly, the manager denies his request once again.
"I don't understand," the young man says. "I'm professional, I'm reliable, and I'm great with the customers. I work hard and I deserve that position. I'm tired of bagging groceries."
The manager sighs and says, "you're a wonderful worker, that's true, but I simply cannot give you the job. You know what they say... baggers can't be juicers."
A woman and her lover were in bed, when the woman heard her husband getting back.
The woman said “Quick! Rub baby powder on you and pretend to be a statue.” The lover did that.
The husband walked into the room. “Honey, what’s this statue doing here?” He asked. “I saw that the Smiths got one, so I decided to get one as well.” She replied. The husband got into bed, and the woman fell asleep. A few hours later, after checking his wife was asleep, he quietly got up, walked into kitchen, made a sandwich and got a glass of milk, came back, and went to the statue.
“Here, have something to eat and drink. I stood like an idiot for 3 days at the Smiths, and no one offered me anything to eat!”
A man goes to a doctor because he has a tapeworm
The doctor says: Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The patient is confused but does as he’s told.
The next day he shows up with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The doctor proceeds to insert both bananas and the Snickers bar up the man’s ass.
The doctor then says to him: Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The man is very confused but does as he’s told.
The patient and the doctor repeat this process for 5 days. On the sixth day, the doctor tells the patient: Tomorrow bring two bananas but instead of a Snickers bar, bring a mallet. The patient is again confused but does as he’s told.
The next day the doctor inserts both bananas up the guy’s butt and quickly grabs the mallet and waits.
All of the sudden, the tapeworm pops out saying : Hey! Where’s my Snickers bar?
WHAM!!!!
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