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Thứ Hai, 3 tháng 9, 2018

3 boys are bragging about their grandfathers

The first boy said: "My grandpa's mansion is worth a million dollars."

While the second said:"Well my grandpa's mansion is worth 5 million, he has a private basketball court and a clubhouse too. "

The last one said:" My grandpa's roof is worth 15 million alone... "

The other two replied:" Wow, where does your grandpa live?"

He replied:"under the overpass of course! "

How did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating BEFORE it was cool

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the cage

Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

A guy walks into a bar...

He sees 2 steaks nailed to the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "What's up with those two steaks?" The bartender replies, "if you can jump up and take those two steaks from the ceiling, I'll give you $1,000,000, if not, I'll cut your arms off." The guy then replies, "I won't do it, the stakes are too high."

Why are there so many rivers in France?

Water flows the path of least resistance.

I gave my friend an elephant to put in his room.

He said "thanks". I said "don't mention it".

A farm boy graduated from college with a degree in journalism.

He got hired immediately and way told his first assignment was to write a human interest sorry. Being from the country, he decided to go back home to do his research.

He went to an old farmer's house way out in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer, and explained what he was there to do. The young man asked "Has anything happened around here that's made you happy?"

The farmer thought for a minute, then struck his knee and exclaimed "You betcha! One time one of my neighbor's sheep got lost. We all formed a posse and found the sheep! Then we each took turns fuckin' the sheep before takin' it home."

"I can't print that!" the young man shouted. "Can you think of anything that's happened around here that's made a lot of people happy?"

The farmer thought for a moment, smacked his knee and said "A-yup! One time my neighbor's daughter, a real good lookin' gal, got lost! Well we rounded up the posse again and found her! Then we all took turns fuckin' her before takin' her home."

The young man sighed. "Well, I can't use that either! Let's try something else. Can you think of a time when you were really sad?"

The farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed. After a few seconds, he looked up timidly and said,. "I got lost once..."