Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"

Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."

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A bar goes into a guy

It was a gay bar.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks for a Coke

A horse walks into a bar and asks for a Coke.

The bartender is very surprised yet he picks a Coke from the fridge and puts it on the counter.

Horse: “Thanks. How much?”

Bartender: “T... ten... d... dollars”

The horse gets his wallet from the saddle and pays 10$.

Bartender: “Sorry but... it’s the very first time a talking horse comes into my bar”

Horse: “First and last. TEN DOLLARS A FUCKING COKE?”

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A murderer is to be executed by electric chair and the priests asks if he has any last request.

The man asks for the priest to hold his hand. Needless to say, the priest was shocked.

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Serena Williams' Claims Of Sexism Backed By WTA

Serena Williams' Claims Of Sexism Backed By WTA
WTA chief executive Steve Simon said the umpire showed Williams a different level of tolerance over Saturday's outbursts than if she had been a man.

September 10, 2018 at 06:45PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2O61Ddg

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I bought a pug for my wife.

Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.

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Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg.

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