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Thứ Tư, 12 tháng 9, 2018

A farmer buys a new rooster to replace his old rooster

The new cocky rooster arrives and proclaims "stand aside old man, you're done! I'm in charge here".

The old rooster replies, "I may be done, but the rule here is; whoever wins a race around this farm is the one who will be in charge"!

The young rooster agrees knowing he will win easily.

"But, seeing as I am so old, I get a head start" says the old rooster.

The youngster, still knowing he will win, again agrees.

On the count of 3 the race starts, the old rooster 10 meters ahead.

The old rooster starts well, but the young one starts to close the gap around half way.

It is coming to the end of the race, and just as the young rooster catches the old one,

BANG!!

The farmer shoots the young rooster stone dead.

"That's the fourth gay rooster i'v bought this month!!"

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

Because you'll get jurasskicked.

“Yoda, are you sure we are going in the right direction?”

Yoda: Off course we are.

*cop pulls over a driver*

Cop: Who's car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?

Miner: Mine.

My friend told me there is a gay guy in our circle of friends...

I really hope its Todd, he's cute.

Doctor, how can I live 100 years?

Man: Doctor, how can I live to be 100 years old?

Doctor: Well, do you smoke cigarettes or do any type of drugs?

Man: Nope

Doctor: Do you eat a lot of junk food?

Man: Nope

Doctor: Do you sleep around without using protection?

Man: Nope

Doctor: Then why the hell do you want to live to be 100 years old?

I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems....

...if I could just get the right people to try it.