He started counting but fell asleep.
Chủ Nhật, 16 tháng 9, 2018
My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender
I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to over-population".
Selling Toothbrushes. Source: My Dad
(Long) One day a man was walking down the street when he sees a kid on the corner selling tooth brushes. The kid asks him, "Hey sir would you like to buy a toothbrush?" The man says, "I would except I already have one at home. I don't need one right now but do you want a tip to help you out?" and the kid says "Sure!" The man says, "Kid, if you want to be a successful salesman, you gotta come up with a twist. You need to do something to grab the customers attention." The kid responds, "Oh I get it!" and the man goes home for the night. The next day, the man goes by and sees the same kid. The kid asks, "Hey sir, do you want a free brownie?" and the man says, "Of course! Thank you!" He takes a bite and immediately spits it out. He says, "Hey! These taste like dogshit!" and the kid says, "That's because it is! Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
A 70 year old, 80 year old and 90 year old men in a nursing home were talking.
“Being 70 is the worst!” The 70 year old exclaims. “Every morning at 7, I wake up to pee, but nothing comes out!”
“Oh, that’s nothing!” The 80 year old says. “Each morning at 8, I wake up to poop, and I sit on the toilet for what seems like hours, but nothing comes out!”
“Oh, that’s nothing” The 90 year old says. “I have it the worst!”
“Can you pee?” The first man asks.
“Certainly! Every morning at 7, I pee like a champion.”
“Can you poop?” The second man asks.
“Yes I can! Each morning at 8, I have a regular bowel movement.”
“Then I don’t understand what the problem is!” The first man says.
“Well, I wake up at 9!”
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