Must be big love, haven't seen her for weeks.
Thứ Hai, 17 tháng 9, 2018
A woman places an ad looking for a man to be her lover
The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed."
A few days later her doorbell rings. The man says, "Hi, I’m Dave. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no feet so I won’t run away."
"What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman retorts.
Dave replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?"
One day, an excited young boy is visiting the docks when he meets an ACTUAL pirate!
This pirate is the real deal: parrot on the shoulder, peg leg, eyepatch, hook hand, sword on the hip. You could not imagine a more stereotypical looking pirate.
The boy runs up to him, squealing with delight. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! You’re a real pirate!”
“Aye, laddie,” the pirate says with a toothy grin.
“Wooow!!! I’ve never met a real pirate before! Ok, ok, how did you get your peg leg?”
“Yar, I was thrown overboard in the Caribbean and a shark bit off me leg.”
“Jeepers!” the young boy exclaimed. “That’s amazing!How did you get your hook?”
“Yar, I was fightin’ buccaneers what was tryin’ ta take me ship, and one of ‘em chopped off me hand ‘fore I sent ‘im ta Davey Jones’ locker.”
“Oooooohhhh that’s so cool!” the young boy said. “How did you get your eyepatch?”
“Yar...well...a seagull pooped in me eye.”
The boy’s enthusiasm turned to confusion. “How in the world did that make you lose your eye?”
“Well...it was the first day with me hook.”
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