Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement.

In the end you ignore it all and just click "I agree"

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A dick has a sad life.

His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

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How are dog catchers paid?

By the pound!

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'2' managed to be prime,

Against all the odds.

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Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more and they would get too farty

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What does eating pussy and smoking a cigarette have in common?

The closer you get to the butt the more intense the flavor.

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People treat me like a god

They ignore my existence unless they need something

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