She was eaten by a giant crab
Thứ Tư, 3 tháng 10, 2018
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom..
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
It wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
A jewish man goes into a public restroom
He goes to the urinal as another man enters and starts using the urinal next to him. The other man looks over at him and asks, "Are you a Jew?"
"Why yes, I am," he replied.
"Are you circumcised?" The second man asked. A bit put off, the first man answered warily.
"A strange question... but yes.. I am circumcised..."
"Did you grow up in New York?" The second man asked.
"Well, yes! I did. How did you know?"
"Did you study under Rabbi Korinski?"
"I did! How do you know so much about me?"
"He cuts at an angle and you're pissing on my shoe."
Boss wants to have sex with his secretary
A boss said to his secretary "I want to have sex with you. I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor; by the time you pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for a moment, then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said "Ask him for $2000, and pick up the money very fast; he won't even have enough time to undress himself."
So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend decides to call his girlfriend. He asks, "What happened?"
She responds, "I'm still picking and he's still fucking! The bastard used COINS!"
A mom decides to clean her sons room.
Under his bed she finds a large collection of BDSM porn. Disturbed and not sure what to do she goes to her husband. "What should we do about this?" she asks. He replied, "Well we sure as hell can't spank him!"
This Air Traffic Controller Died After Guiding A Plane To Safety During The Earthquake In Indonesia
This Air Traffic Controller Died After Guiding A Plane To Safety During The Earthquake In Indonesia
"During the last phase of my takeoff, he was still on that tower waiting for me to go up," the pilot of the plane told BuzzFeed News. "That's why I call him my guardian angel."
October 2, 2018 at 08:24AM
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