I don’t care if she has one.
Thứ Sáu, 26 tháng 10, 2018
*NSFW* John wanted to buy a Harley
He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Becca, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
Just before they enter the house, Becca stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
John is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, John decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Becca.
No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.
John grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
She has a big orgasm, & John sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
John remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts. I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!
Guy wakes up in a hospital room, badly beaten within inches of his life.
The doctor is standing over him and asks him what happened.
He thinks back. “I was golfing with my wife. She shanked her pink ball into a small cow pasture, just beyond the rough. I went to look for it and finally found it in a cow’s butthole.
Last thing I remember is I lifted the tail and shouted ‘HONEY! This looks like yours!!!!’”
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walked into a bar.
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse sits down and says, “I’ll have a shot of tequila!”
The doctor sits next to her and says, “Give me a shot of whiskey!”
The bartender turns to the anti-vaxxer, "and what are you having?". The anti-vaxxer responds, "no shots for me", then dies from polio.
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