I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican

I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican who, after years of auditions for various instruments, got a gig in the local orchestra playing the triangle- not his first choice. One day he came in super stressed looking. I said “What’s up...can't handle the pressure of performing on stage?” He says, "You have no idea mon, I be responsible for every ting."...

Read More

NSFW A boy goes to the zoo with his parents

They're standing at the elephant exhibit when the boy asks his mom: What's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Mom: That's it's trunk. Boy: No, further back. Mom: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Mom: Oh, that's nothing. Now run along. The boy is still curious so he walks over to his dad. Boy: Dad, what's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Dad: That's its trunk. Boy: No, further back. Dad: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Dad: That's its penis. Boy: Oh, but Mom said it was nothing. Dad: Well, son, you have to realize that...

Read More

Went to a club with the wife and there was a guy on the dance floor going mental - twerking, breakdancing, spinning, moonwalking, back flips, the whole lot . My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

I said, "By the looks of it, he’s still fucking celebrating!”...

Read More

TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once.

Whoops, wrong sub....

Read More

Here's A Perfect 8-Second Internet Video

Here's A Perfect 8-Second Internet Video ​We hope to find something we're as excited about as Stella the dog is about this pile of leaves. October 26, 2018 at 09:42PM via Digg https://ift.tt/2PqES...

Read More

I had a dream where i weighed less than a thousandth of a gram

I was like 0mg...

Read More

I’ll never forget my dogs last words...

“You took too much acid.”...

Read More