Husband: Your chin.
Chủ Nhật, 28 tháng 10, 2018
Multiple Fatalities Reported In Shooting At Pittsburgh Synagogue
Multiple Fatalities Reported In Shooting At Pittsburgh Synagogue
Local media reported that eight people were dead after a man began shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh on Saturday. A police official told reporters there were "multiple casualties" but authorities did not immediately confirm numbers of fatalities.
October 27, 2018 at 11:20PM
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The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.
So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?.
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long painful illness, and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the rep mumbles, 'Uh... No, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?
A guy gets horny during his first week on a pirate ship...
So he goes up to the captain and asks "What do you guys use when you get horny?"
The captain says: "There's a barrel over there with a hole in it; we use that".
Guy: "Great when can I use it?"
Captain: "You can use it any day of the week, except Tuesday".
Guy: "Why not Tuesday?"
The captain grinned and said: "Cause that's your day in the barrel."
65,000,011 years ago
Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."
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