Doctor, I have a sexual problem.

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Garrett," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

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What's the difference between yogurt and America?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture

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A drunk old man stumbles into a bar . . .

It’s the roughest bar at the end of the roughest street in town. It’s full of the scariest, meanest bikers you ever saw. Swaying slightly, he scans the room and stops when he finds the biggest, toughest-looking guy in the place. He stumbles over to the guy’s table, points at him and says in a loud voice:

“I FUCKED YER GRAMA, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

Place goes dead quiet. The big guy doesn’t move, but he also doesn’t take his eyes off the old man.

“You hear me, asshole?! I FUCKED her every which way for HOURS, and you know what? She LOVED it!!She BEGGED for more! What do ya think of THAT?!”

The biker says nothing. This just makes the old man angrier.

“What’s the matter with ya, ya pussy? Ain’t you got nothing to say?!”

Slowly, the massive biker rises to his feet . . .

. . . and says . . .

“Let’s get you home, Grampa. You’re drunk.”

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Everybody knows there are words only black people can say, but what can only white people say?

"Thanks for the warning, officer."

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What did Jesus say after he resurrected on the third day?

“You crossed the wrong guy”

I think all the redditors will agree, with this joke, I nailed it

Edit: I am a Christian myself and I dont mean to offend anyone, I just thought it was hilarious.

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This 400 Meter Sand Slide Looks

This 400 Meter Sand Slide Looks 
​These sand dunes make for a great ride.

October 29, 2018 at 06:59AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2CMigb6

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I haven't had sex since 1956

A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief, said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956..." The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."

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