This Is Not What You Expect To Find When You Haul Your Fishing Net Out Of The Ocean

This Is Not What You Expect To Find When You Haul Your Fishing Net Out Of The Ocean
This might explain why the net felt really, *really* heavy.

October 31, 2018 at 02:43AM
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Me and my wife were happy for 28 years...

Then we met each other

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If a midget smokes weed...

does he get high or medium?

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Trump book

Today I was at the bookstore; as I was wandering around, the clerk stopped me and offered to help me.

I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"

The clerk angrily said, "Fuck off, get out and stay out!"

I said, "Yes! That's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"

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I dont believe in hitting my children as punishment

So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead

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A police man pulled over a miner.

Policeman: Whose car is this, where are you going and what do you do.

Miner: mine

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As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection,

"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.

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