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Thứ Sáu, 9 tháng 11, 2018

A guy walks into a bar

and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

Me : *washing car with son*

Son : "Dad can't you just use a sponge?"

Donald trump walks into a bar...

And lowers it.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The Nba

Why do reddit users hate facebook?

Because you need to have friends to be on facebook.

Cop: who’s car is this? What do you do for a living? Where are you going?

Miner: mine

2 Smoking Grandmas & 1 Condom

Jane & Arlene are outside the nursing home, having a smoke. A storm blows in and starts sprinkling. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end and puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.

Arlene: What the hell is that?

Jane: It's a condom. This way my cigarette don't get wet.

Arlene: Where'd you get that at?

Jane: You can get them at the pharmacy down the road!

The next day, Arlene hobbles her way into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (as she is over 80 years of age) but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand condom she prefers.

Arlene exclaims, "Don't matter honey, as long as it fits on a Camel!"

*pharmacist faints*